Like I've said. I have no parents, I told dad that I have,severe ankle sprain and achillies tendonitis. & do you know what he said? His reply is so opposite to other parent. & his answer is "faster die better, always bring trouble to the family, th faster you die, th faster the family will be peaceful, you caused your mother leave the house" And after hearing this yesterday, I did not angry, rather, i felt that I should not be in this family. At times, i am thinking, even if i'm not matter in this family, why they still want me to stay in this family?
I really really confuse. Seriously. Surprisingly, the one who brought me to see the doctor was not my parent, neither my dog, grandma and my brother. It's Yuwen & her mum, actually I'm really confuse, though I'm not their child and sister but why they care for me much more than my parent does? They dont care 'bout me is okay, at least say some thing to comfort me and I would be very happy and contented. But I never know that my parents just dont care 'bout me.
Why always is always my friends or my friends' parents will care for me so much? But why is not my "own" parents? When I told my parents that my friend's mom brought me to see doctor, they scolded me that "Eh, we have no money to see doctor meh, why lend from your friend's mom?! you love them alot right? then go be their daughter lah" I replied that "just now once you come home i already complained t you that my leg got sprain and you say th faster i die, the faster th family will be peaceful." And he added on with his scolding. After scolding, I isolate myself in my room. crying & crying.
just now i had finished doing laundry, sweeping th floor and etc. mom came back from malaysia today, she scolds me "i thought you very good in handling house chores, you little b.... , why make this house so messy. I had tried my best in keeping th house clean, brother is the culprit that he makes th house so messy after I've cleaned it.
As for today, dad gave me th permission for not attending school, i thought he still cares for me. How i know, while around 8am, before we went to work, he wake me up and i thought he wants t bring me to sinseh. unfortunately, my thinking is so negatively from his'. He said "remember to wash all th clothes from th pail, and mop th floor and sweep th floor. and also remember to prepare lunch"
I told him in a very nice tone for th first time, "but i dont think that i can do all these chores within today, cause my leg had injured." He added on" who ask you to play outside after school. you asked for it." after saying these, he went out. I sitted at my bed, prayed and cried non-stop to God. Asked him, "God, why am i in this state?" After praying, my mind keep flashing how my dad speaks t me in th morning and yesterday. And that's th time i cried so loudly.
Why this month alot of things happened so suddenly? God, could you please tell me, what can i do to please my parents? I can see that whatever i do, is just a animal who are disgracing them. I did not complain anything while i do housework, and i try to bear th pain. Do you know that? do my mummy and daddy knows that? I admitted that I have th intention to use th knife and end my life. it's seriously no joke. really. i was thinking why grandma stopped me at th time. just because I'm lucky? or is this God's plan?
Can any people tell me, what can i do so that my parents can look up on me? Though my brother also poor in studies and somemore he's in NA stream, but how come my parents still dote on him like nobody business. & lastly i wanna say this "Do anybody wants to have me as their daughter?" cause I'm really tired of here in this family. I really had enough of this accusings, insultings. God, I pray, can you stop this at once? My pain is everywhere now, mentally,spiritually & physically. i think i will collaspe one day and my parents wont know.
I'm the one.
Sherry Lee is my name.
Jeannette Lee is my baptise name(:
Graduated from:ChungChengHighYishun'09.
Currently suffering at ITE Central(Bishan);
Business Skills(Office)
Presents always received on 23'October.
Imma child of God(:
& I love God!
& lastly, I love the people in ID:JC!
I have a wonderful shepherd named; THEOPHILA ANG JIN LIN
& super wondersheeps namely;WAN XUEQING & TNG YANXIA
